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Sexuality Polls?

Thu Dec 8, 2011, 5:42 PM

So, you may wonder why I made the polls about sexuality.

From the age of 12 to 16, I was straight. I was always straight, and always going to be straight. I only dated guys, and that was the way it was stuck in my head.

Then at 16, things started changing. I was in a relationship, but I also found myself attracted to girls. In appearance, especially, I found females more appealing than males.

At around 18 or 19, my attraction to men started fading entirely, replaced purely by an interest in women.

At 20, I ended my straight relationship to be with Jenn. By this point, I only found women attractive.

Now I'm 24, and once again, I'm on the fence. I find both men and women attractive visually, but I'm not SEXUALLY attracted to any of them. The only person I honestly find sexually attractive is Jenn. She's female, so I suppose that labels me as a lesbian, as I am quite literally only attracted to females.

But what if, in another world, Jenn had been male? I love Jenn heavily for her mind and personality, so I'd like to think I'd still be attracted to Guy!Jenn.

What if Jenn were to become trans in this world? Would that make me pansexual? Heterosexual?

I'm 24. I've been certain of being straight, of being bi, and of being gay.

I've finally come to realise that the only thing I'm certain of... is that I'm not certain at all.

I have no idea which label fits me. And to be honest, I'm okay with that. After the polls today, the answers that pleased me most were from people who admitted that they either had no idea, didn't want to label themselves, or didn't have the experience to make the commitment to any one label. These people have figured out in their teens what I know now in my mid-twenties: that love is fluid, and things can dramatically change without you ever seeing it coming.

If you're confident in your label, then that's fine, of course! Especially if you've had that definite view for years, and have never wavered from it. Even more-so if you are well over 21, as you have a decent amount of child, teen, and adult life experience from which to draw your identity conclusions. It amazes me that there are so many under 21's who say they are certain of "This is what I am. This is what I will be for the rest of my life."

With luck, you'll all live to be at least seventy. Do you really want to commit to a label now when you have 50+ years of life, experiences, meetings, attractions and fates to live through? Is it so important to need to label yourself?

For me, there is only one label I'd like to have, and that I hope the rest of you all get to have at some point in your life, if you don't already: Onesexual. Finding that one, perfect person who outshines all others, and once you have them, all other attractions just fade away into unimportance.

Everyone is free to be what they want to be. If you want to label yourself as gay, straight, pansexual, bisexual, or anything else inbetween, then go ahead. Hell, label yourself just to make it easier on others, if you wish! I'll still answer to the gay/lesbian label, as it's the closest one to fit me, but that's not what I truly am.

I'm Jennsexual, and no other label really fits.

I'm happy with this. I hope everyone who reads this is happy with their own label, no matter what it might be. If you don't know for certain, don't worry! In a world where sex is thrown in our faces every single day, it's okay to shrug your shoulders and say "Eh, I'll decide later." Or don't label yourself at all. Whatever XD


In other news, I miss Jenn. She's sicker than me right now, and I want to be there for her D8

In other OTHER news, Jenn and I will have been together for four years as of January ^_^

Just to clarify, the polls weren't created to prove a point, or gather evidence, or for anything like that! They existed for two only reasons:
- To satisfy my own curiosity about my audience
- To get people thinking about the subject before I wrote this journal on the matter


  • Mood: Winter Downs
Add a Comment:
missshadowwings Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
"But what if, in another world, Jenn had been male? I love Jenn heavily for her mind and personality, so I'd like to think I'd still be attracted to Guy!Jenn."

I think we now know the answer to that~
Cinderpelt618 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
I don't know you and I'm proud. You actually spoke of the one subject of someone's... Let's call it sex label... And it's inspirational. You made me cry.... Bagel.
TrollingintheDerp Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student General Artist
To be honest... I feel the same way. I thought I was always straight. I only crushed on and went after guys. Then, I started feeling sexually attracted to girls. I felt confused. Am I straight or am I bi? Now, I just say I'm bisexual. I don't want to make a big deal about it, though. Especially after reading your journal.
PhoebeFay Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Student General Artist
If I had to label myself for other people to understand I'm bisexual, if they ask more I say i'm a demisexual bi-romantic. I'm in a position that the only people I love are people I feel like I've grown to loves o no 'love at first sight' for me. In fact, i tend to dislike people when I first see them people they look coldly indifferent when I approach them. Apart from loving someone of the same gender, I think there's hardly a point in ruling out an entire gender just becuase you say you don't like them. People can be one, the other, both or neither one way or another.
Rainbow-Songs Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
Reading this, really made me cry, but not in a bad way...
that actually made me really happy...really happy about myself...being myself.
so thank you Kelly, really <3
MentalCosplayer Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
O.O, My eyes are welling up with tears....
That was outstanding Kelly I'm crying buckets here
:clap: :salute: I salute to you!!!! :hug:
Group-Photos Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I realize that by now, commenting on this is a bit outdated, but I typed up this well-thought-out-reply like two weeks ago, and then - right then - my router malfunctioned and we had to send for a new one. XO So dammit, I'mma post it anyway, hope you don't mind. lol

Honestly, when I was younger, I was straight-by-default. I never really thought about the matter, I barely dated in high school and didn't at all before that. I had a few girls in high school ask me out, and I told them I was straight, but truthfully I just wasn't interested in them as people, not as women.

Then I fell in love with a woman. And in the past almost-four years (we've been dating almost as long as you guys, four years in April! XD) she and I have done a lot of growing up and maturing, both separately and as a couple. I don't feel like I "turned" bisexual, or that I suddenly became attracted to females. It's just that, over time, I realized that I was attracted to females and males in different ways, but both equally.

My girlfriend and I both look at other people. Neither of us gets jealous, in fact we usually discuss what we think is hot in someone else. XD But when it comes down to it, we still only really want each other.

Also, I love that you call yourself "Jennsexual", since just the other day my friend made a joke about me being "Lottiesexual" (my girlfriend's name being Lottie, obviously) - I love that someone else has thought of that too, cause it's hilarious, but so true.

Anyway, in response to your line about people being steady in their choices, I do agree there are too many people trying to stick themselves to a label for the long haul when they have so much ahead of them. However, maybe this makes me a hypocrite, but I don't feel like I will ever stop being bisexual. The reason for this, though, is backed by the fact that in almost every topic that comes up, I am very open-minded, and I rarely take extremes. I'm usually sitting squarely in the middle of any debate. So I think I'll be sitting squarely in the middle of the gay/straight category for a long time. ^_^
GIR2898 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
Congradulations on four years!! I wish you a long and very happy relationship!!
akurokuxsokai Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
If you're Jennsexual, then I am Shawnsexual X3 my fiance is the only one I find attractive :heart:
legendsofzeldafreako Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so sweet. I absolutely agree with you.

I label myself as bisexual for the simple fact that it's easiest to explain to people. But I'm just me. I don't think I can really label myself. I mean, I know exactly who I am but who I am, sexuality-wise, is always changing. I'm 18 now and until I was 15 I was completely, 100% sure I was straight, much like you.

'Nyways, I really look up to you and Jenn's relationship; I'm always hoping that I can find someone that I can share such a special bond with as you two do.
AequusHomonus Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You know, I read this probably three days after it was posted. And it really got me thinking about my own sexuality.

When I was a child, I was raised to be "straight" and thought girls were icky, then I believed I was bisexual in my early teens to middle teens.
And here I am, not sure at all whether I'm bisexual, straight, lesbian, pansexual, aesexual, or what. I'm in a straight relationship with a wonderful guy.
So. I think I'm pansexual now. Not because I'd date anyone. But because I'm not dating for looks or gender at all. I'm dating for soul.
Like they put it, on the Bisexuals are real - they exist! page, I think it was, Pansexuals date for the soul. Not because your a male or female. It made me think how you're "Jennsexual" People get bored of on or the other miniscule differences and move on to the new one. Maybe that's what was going on. But you found your soulmate c: Just my opinion. <3
kh-lover15 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011
Aw, Jennsexual, that's so cute.

I've always thought that I was straight, but I don't know. I keep wondering what will happen when I turn 18, go to college, go live in the UK and am just free. *shrug* I guess, that you never really know. You just have to love the person yeah?
GABLE-CAT Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
I find this eye-opening, so thankyou for giving me the opportunity to re-assess this part of my life. and for some reason this journal of yours has made me extreamly happy. Keep on rockin' guys!
spreadmybrokenwings Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Student Writer
What good is a label? So long as you know what you like, that's all that matters. I admit I'm really on the fence. I was completely straight for a long time, but I had a little niggling of a thought in the back of my mind about a female friend of mine... suddenly I didn't know anymore. But now I just go mostly by personality. Doesn't make me pansexual because I still see beauty. But, it's second on the list.
X-EvilSpawnPanda-X Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
I'm confused as hell tbh, I've had two boyfriends all in all, 1 lasted 13 days and the other was on and off for a few months, I've also had two girlfriends, 1 for 2 years and the other I've been with for 5 months now, whilst I'm attracted to guys, I really can't see myself in a relationship with one, so I guess I'm bi but I consider myself a lesbian but recently I have no idea and I'm just really confused.
key-to-darkness Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
No one is 100% gay and no one is 100% straight. It's something that a lot of people don't want to admit. But love is one of the deepest of the human emotions; it is beyond exclusiveness, either way. Everyone is attracted to other people in their life—but gender plays no part in an emotion so profound.
mackenzie60 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like this. :) What you've said describes completely how I feel about my boyfriend right now... We haven't been a couple for even a week yet, but I've known him for around two years... I guess I'm considered straight, though in the past I've thought myself a bisexual. But being with him now, there's no doubt about it.
Onesexual. Has a nice ring to it. :)
Maverrix Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sexuality is always so interesting to talk about.
When I was around 15 I thought I was bisexual. Then when I was 18 I said I was a lesbian because any attraction to males I ever had just disappeared and I found myself only wanting to be with a woman. At the time my mind was completely made up. I should have known better than to label myself so quickly. Now, I've fallen in love with a man. Needless to say, I am rather confused. I haven't told him how I feel yet, but I plan to. Right now I am not attracted to anyone else but him. Funny how things turn out.
I've decided not to worry to much about it and just go with the flow. I've been telling myself to follow the heart, not the anatomy. No more labels for me!
ninja-of-da-kiwis Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What I always tell myself and my friends is that sexuality and gender identity are always fluid and can always change; one day, you may feel like you like men more than you like women. One day, you may feel like a man more than a woman. It doesn't really matter at all.
All that matters is that YOU are happy with YOUR sexuality (which you obviously are). I think fate brought the two of you together and if she were a man in another life, I think you would have ended up with guy!Jenn; but that's just how I see things.
As long as you're happy, gender or sexuality shouldn't matter. (:

I may be a lesbian today, but, if it's for the person I love, I may be heterosexual/pansexual/bisexual/whatever else you want to call it tomorrow. I'll gladly do it because I know that I'd still be happy knowing that I'd still be with that person, and that my partner would be happy knowing that they have my full support and love regardless of what their identity may be.
Boo-Bottle Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
the label is a nasty thing. we are only human not objects if people throw that label at you never take notice.
AlaricKai Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
I really like your label, Onesexual/Jennsexual. That is perfect for you!
I always thought I was straight, but somewhere in high school, I realized that I really didn't know. And I still don't. I suppose I'll find out sooner or later.
deviantdarkness101 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
I'd like to say that you are not lesbian, not straight, not even bi, for you, my friend, are so much more. The only thing that matters to you is your soul and the significant other's soul. You do not see gender. A very rare and admirable trait.
Me personally I find people of both genders gorgeous, yet I'm only truly attracted to men(can't fall in love with girls). So either there just hasn't been a girl out there that has wowed me like guys in the past or my soulmate is a guy.....I've often contemplated what you've thrown on the table though, thank you for sharing, I'm glad I'm not alone on this.
Milkater Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Ok, well I know for a fact that I am bi... I have always known, although I did deny it for many years... I also know that everyone is different... I also don't think we need to label our attraction... We love who we love, we are attracted to who we are attracted to, we don't need a label for love... Glad you and Jenn are happy, and as long as you are, never feel you need a label for it and be happy in the fact you too are attracted to each other... Oh, and I also think you would love Jenn no matter if she was a guy, girl, trans, etc because you don't love her for her body, you love her for who she is =)
Dragonflyfaerie Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Professional General Artist
I'm sorry you and Jenn are both sick, I hope both of you get better soon. As for labels, I really like what you said, "I'm Jennsexual" I think that label fits you perfectly. As for myself, I've been on the fence for quite awhile. I'm 23 and still trying to figure out if I really am a lesbian or bisexual, or what I am. But I know for sure that I do find certain people attractive and others not so much. Labels can be ridicules really. Do we really need labels? Can't we just say that we are humans and love who we want to. That is all anyone needs to know.

WarOnReality Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Jennsexual.... Aw! ^^
And also, I think you make very good points. I've been fairly certain up until about last february (14, I'm 15 now and 16 soon enough), and now I'm a little more confused. So I love you're thought process here.
pyrocupcakehugs Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011   Traditional Artist
I hate the label on bisexual people that states that we're just confused or we're going through a stage. I prefer to look at myself as a fisherman, and personally i say that the world is a bigger ocean when all the fish are hungry. ;)
LXwillXlive Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
The problem with labeling is how society practically makes you do it. I am a transgender, homosexual male.

That being said, I have a female body and like guys.

So I'm both gay and straight, but not bisexual because I don't like girls.

Frankly, I like to consider myself a gay male because that's what my mind and sexual impulse tell me. But I tell others that I am a straight female to just simplify having to explain everything. Plus I'm in high school and just don't want the trouble. My close friends know, so I'm good.

In all honesty, it really doesn't bother me though. I am what I am. If in a little while I turn out to like girls, than whatever. I'll fall in love with whomever my subconscious chooses. But I can definitely say that I am certain and unwavering about the whole situation.
AskVatican Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011  Student General Artist
aww congrats on your 4 years coming up soon!
you don't have to have labels for sure just loving the person for who they are is enough for that
Tsuanmi Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I wanna be kellyjennsexual ^^
ShibaAyame Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
I answered "bisexual" on the poll, because that's what I'd identified for as the longest time, but at this point, I consider myself to be "onesexual" as you are. The only person I'm sexually (and visually, too) attracted to is my fiance, which astonishes me.

(Probably because I'd looked back on my relationships with both genders and I figured I'd probably end up settling down with a girl in an open relationship. Not an expectation, just that I wouldn't be surprised if that was the outcome my life reached. I think it did catch me by surprise when I realized my all-out devotion to this man, though, but I love it, and I love him, so all's well that ends well <3)
Mister-Winchester Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love this really made me think...especially this comment
"I've finally come to realise that the only thing I'm certain of... is that I'm not certain at all."
Im 15 and for the last two years of my life ive considered myself lesbian. But while reading this i was thinking. Everyone who asks i just tell them that im attracted to girls. but i havent told my parents becasue one...i dont really know how and two...well im not so just a fucking closet leabian and im not sure when thatll ever change....any advice?
Vampire-Sacrifice Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think that was the cutest thing I've ever read....
You and Jenn seriosuly are the greatest, most perfect couple. I worry every day about you guys and your replationship, just hoping you stay together, and that it is true love between the two of you. I know it's not my place to think about that stuff but I've seen this same thing happen too many times and both get severly hurt in the end.
I really, REALLY don't want to see that any more. Never, ever again.
For myself, I don't know what I am. Right now, i don't really care. I'm happy with friends.
VampireKitty1402 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
thank you for this i was so confused with the labelling bull, this has made me feel a lot better about just being me not needing a label! :D
QuinnFish Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Student Photographer
Congrats with Jenn, im glad that you're so happy together, you really are meant to be together :3
kaitou-hikarii Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I know you've probably got a lot of comments saying this, but I'm not going to go through them all cause I'm lazy. Sorry for being a douche.
Heard of demisexuality? When you don't experience attraction to the bodies of either sex unless there's a deep emotional romantic connection, in which case their body becomes attractive to you.
Seeing a stranger on the street and finding them attractive it Primary attraction, and when someone becomes attractive to you when you're romantically connected to them is Secondary attraction. Most people experience both but demisexuals only experience secondary attraction.
I don't know. Just another title, I guess, but sometimes it's nice to have it in a word. And I've heard it said many a time that sexuality is fluid.
LooksknOweVenhEy143 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I went through a few of those stages in a few months of time between the ages of 10 and 11 then I realized, we don't fall in lvoe with gander, we fall in love with people. Now I finally got the girl I've loved for 5 years and my friends don't call me lesbian they call me "Lexisexual" and have from the moment they knew I loved her. :)
SpongebobStalkerGirl Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I never even considered the option of being gay until I was thirteen, had a mental breakdown over it and now I'm almost 99% sure I'm gay But sometimes I have doubts about it. Everything's so freaking confusing >///<

Your story's really interesting though! Your take on this is really awesome to read about ^__^
SebastiansCreed Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been everything from straight to asexual. I was only attracted to girls, both visually and sexually, from around January to April. In that time, my crush on a guy had faded to be replaced with a crush on a cosplay friend. Then, I met a guy in my theatre class, who kinda dragged me out of it (I still have an enormous thing for him; he doesn't even acknowledge my existence more than an answer to my 'Hello'). Over the summer, I considered myself bisexual with an inclination towards women. The beginning of this school year found me pansexual. I've been intermittently straight. Since Thanksgiving, I've hesitantly classified myself as a-hetero-pansexual (I'll only have a sexual relationship with a male [because I think that sex should only be for making babehs and I'm somewhat disgusted by it], but I have no problems about dating a girl). I'm only sexually attracted to men, but women are alright to look at :I
Squeelyfangirl Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
This is great. I labeled myself for a long time (went from straight to bi to pan, and still tell people that need me to have a label that I'm pan, as that seems to be the most fluid label) but in the last couple of years I've really begun to understand that I don't need labels, that I will fall in love with the person I'm meant to fall in love with be them male, female, or anywhere in between and that's completely ok. I am so looking forward to the time when I can label myself as <insert love of my life's name>sexual.
I am so glad that this is being put out there.
Kimium Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I really enjoyed reading this journal. It is fun I think, to ask the audience questions every now and again. Hopefully we satisfied your curiosity? Also (early) congradulations on your four year anniversary, as well as (both of you) get better soon!
ZackyxCloudy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011   General Artist
Your right about all of that. No one can truely label themselves because it is possible for things to change. We can only hope that, as you said, we find that one special person, no matter what gender or sexuality, that we want to be with forever. ^^
MaxiiW Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
All we can do is take life as it comes, and enjoy ourselves :) Even if that enjoyment comes from a person you "shouldn't" be attracted to.
OutcastAngel696 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
When I was a teenager, I was sexually attracted to just about every man that came my way, and I was deeply in love with one man in particular. But, there were times in my early teenage years when I found myself sexually attracted to females as well. I was dedicated to my boyfriend, and to the strait relationship we had going on, but I kept having dreams of being with another girl. I tried to ignore these desires, but they just kept coming back. I tried to write it off as just being curious, or that it was a phase that would fade over time, but again, the thoughts wouldn't leave me alone. Being raised in a family who had Medieval views on homosexuality, didn't help my predicament at all. I feared that my family wouldn't accept me, or that they wouldn't love me anymore if I came out with my desires, and especially- I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend of 4 years because I was falling out of love with him.

Then I found out the man I'd been so dedicated to was cheating on me with some other girl, and he HAD been for the last 3 years. The pain shocked me so bad that I forgot to care, but at the same time, I felt as though I'd been set free. I stopped caring about what would happen if my family found out about my desires to be with other women, and I had one of those long, open conversations that my mom and I have had at most of the major turning points in my life. I found out she didn't care what my desires were, whether i was with a girl, or a guy, she'd love me regardless.

I'm 22 now, and even though I've gone from being certain about how straight I was, to ashamed of my lesbian tendencies, I've realized that being confident in yourself is more important than worrying about how other people may see you. I'm still fearful of what may happen if my sexuality leaks to the rest of my family, but for now, I'm perfectly happy with who I am, and what I like, finding myself sexually and romantically attracted to both men and women, and I'm DONE hiding that.
ASkyOfAutumnTears Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I guess I'd be pansexual in attraction to others. It's simply about the style of how they do it that decide whether I'm attracted to them or not sexually. For style of itself though, I'd be pretty weird, most of the time I hate the mainstream appeals for both men or women. Hate the super skinny, the big busty models, the clean male models, the business suit attire etc..... Yet it seems everyone is into just those sorta types except me. In practice of pursuit though, I'd be "un"sexual, as sexual taste has little to no determination of how my relationship to anyone I interact with is. They could be the most sexually attractive person on the earth and although I'd definitely praise them for it, I'd not change the amount of intimacy I'd potentially have for them to share with me or not (if they're an ass). Another point is also my celibacy, the permanent kind, not the temporary kind that lasts until marriage (that is chastity), nor is it sexual abstinence (that is simply a lowering of activity toward sex, or voluntary restraint of it). So yeah, it gets complicated for me and this is actually all simplified. If nothing else it would be a big turn off for anyone that would actually be attracted to me once they got to know me more.
MaxiiW Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I'm under 21 and I answered "I am certain about my choice". Yeah, sure, I might not have all the experience of all the different sexualities, but what I do know is that I love my BOYfriend more than anything. I imagine myself with him for the rest of my life. We've been together 2 years and I'm only 18, so I think that's pretty good going. So I agree with you so much, I might be inexperienced, but I'm onesexual XD and right now, that makes me straight, and I'm certain about that :)
EveningRights Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
When I was younger I always viewed myself as nonsexual. I wasn't attracted to men and didn't care to be. I didn't really think about the possibility of being attracted to women, though even at a young age I found them entrancing. Then I had a friend point out to me that maybe if I considered women rather than only men I'd find myself to be bisexual if not a lesbian. Turns out, she was right. Mostly. I've loved two people, both women. However, while I use the label 'lesbian' and while I'm fairly sure I couldn't be sexually attracted to a man, or at least unable to act on that attraction, I do believe there are some aesthetically pleasing men. Whenever I tell anyone that however, I'm constantly met with people questioning me on whether I'm truly gay or not. This leads to me elaborating on the fact that I'm not 100% gay. Just mostly. And I believe everything is subject to change. Though, with that being said, I must admit that from experience I change very rarely unless something astounding whacks me upside the head. So unless my lovely girlfriend suddenly realizes she's trans or finds out that she's not actually female, I don't believe I'll have to worry about my sexuality swinging the other way on me for a great while yet.
Gallen-HT Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Student Photographer
Maybe this is what crazy people call love?
ASkyOfAutumnTears Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
No, it's more of sexual preferences of crazy people, although I'm sure many call it "love". Love as a concept itself has nothing to do with sex though. Your mother and father may love you dearly, or your brother and sister, or even a mentor, teacher, and/or deep real life-long friend. But none of these require sexual attraction, at least hopefully. Then again, they probably would be crazy if they required sexual preference to be the sole factor of who they love.
Gallen-HT Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Student Photographer
Sexual preference is a broader term than simply "what gender you prefer"; certainly. For instance I prefer nerdy, smart, and somewhat introverted girls who I can call equal to myself in almost every way. That's a preference. However, when you can cut that preference down to one person, you know you're serious. Certainly it's not the only thing to consider but sexual attraction is factored into the equation. And, yah. It is an equation. Even "sexual attraction" isn't just who you are attracted to sexually, it's who you are ok with sleeping with and who you want to sleep with. For instance Scarlet Johanson is a sexually attractive person. Would I sleep with her? No. She's not my type. So, yah. I kina disagree with you but I can totally see where you are coming from. (also, love as a concept between lovers is completely different than the love as a concept between siblings & etc.)(really quite different in many ways.)
ASkyOfAutumnTears Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
Never limited the term as you seem to think I portray. Obviously sexual preference can also mean physically deciding who we'd have sex with, besides what we think of as sexually attractive in itself. That said, the term "sleep with" can also mean that rifleman you slept with while in a knee-deep flood simply so you can have someone to lean against while sleeping in a battlefield, or the mother or father who you choose to sleep with because you were scared of something as a child. The point of how we use the words is what matters, not all their definitions and differences in what it encompasses.

Point is, is that sex (in choice of mate, attractiveness, and preference) has nothing to do with the concept of love itself, which is to give of one's self for others in a basic sense. You can have conditions of who you'd give to, like if they act a certain way, are in a certain bloodline (like biological family), in a social group, are a certain biological sex, are a potential mating partner, etc... The list of conditions are endless and subjective to the one who gives that love. Not in any of this though is the totality of the concept of love required to adhere to sexual natures, nor blood or social roles.

In truth, there are no different "kinds of love", only degrees of intimacy of what we share mentally, physically, emotionally, and legally, as well as roles they play in our lives as parents, siblings, children, strangers, mating partners, national figures, bosses, co-workers, teachers, etc, etc, etc. To one person, they may give more freely to certain roles, because they may allow more intimacy, but the basis of love is the same no matter what. To give of one's self for another's benefit and wants. All the "flavors" or "kinds" of love are simply commonly agreed preferences of conditions to giving that love to certain people in society's eyes. This can be an analogy to how different "races" aren't actually different, as their is only one species of human, given we all technically share 99.8% of our genes. The core of who we are as beings is all within the same concept of being "human".

For example, mother's love is (in the common sense of society) having the preference to give love in a motherly intimate way, and to give it to primarily their own children. The basis is always the same though; give of one's self to another.

Another example; partner mating love (commonly thought of as "true" love because it is usually the most committing) is of having the preference to give love to one who has also committed themselves to you in much the same way, in a deeply intimate manner to the point of life long sharing in pooled resources and closeness(that's the common western goal anyway). It is also commonly associated with sexual needs. The basis is still the same; give of one's self to another.

What we give doesn't matter, be that time or energy or sex or money. It may even be something metaphysical, like a purpose in life (mentors, pastors, leaders and mating partners can commonly give this), fun and pleasure (sexual partners and friends), and knowledge (parents in upbringing, teachers in school). The point is we give of ourselves, our resources, our abilities, our lives, for another person (or more).

As long as the purpose of giving one's self is for the person they give to, that's the concept of love, no matter how meager it may be, like someone giving a dollar to a homeless man who asks for it.

Sorry, now that I think about it, I kinda ran off a tangent, but hopefully my little rant about love itself isn't offending, as I didn't aim this at you, only people in general, including myself....
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Submitted on
December 8, 2011


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