WARNING FOR THE RAMBLINGS OF A TIRED, ILL PERSON!
So, you may wonder why I made the polls about sexuality.
From the age of 12 to 16, I was straight. I was always straight, and always going to be straight. I only dated guys, and that was the way it was stuck in my head.
Then at 16, things started changing. I was in a relationship, but I also found myself attracted to girls. In appearance, especially, I found females more appealing than males.
At around 18 or 19, my attraction to men started fading entirely, replaced purely by an interest in women.
At 20, I ended my straight relationship to be with Jenn. By this point, I only found women attractive.
Now I'm 24, and once again, I'm on the fence. I find both men and women attractive visually, but I'm not SEXUALLY attracted to any of them. The only person I honestly find sexually attractive is Jenn. She's female, so I suppose that labels me as a lesbian, as I am quite literally only attracted to females.
But what if, in another world, Jenn had been male? I love Jenn heavily for her mind and personality, so I'd like to think I'd still be attracted to Guy!Jenn.
What if Jenn were to become trans in this world? Would that make me pansexual? Heterosexual?
I'm 24. I've been certain of being straight, of being bi, and of being gay.
I've finally come to realise that the only thing I'm certain of... is that I'm not certain at all.
I have no idea which label fits me. And to be honest, I'm okay with that. After the polls today, the answers that pleased me most were from people who admitted that they either had no idea, didn't want to label themselves, or didn't have the experience to make the commitment to any one label. These people have figured out in their teens what I know now in my mid-twenties: that love is fluid, and things can dramatically change without you ever seeing it coming.
If you're confident in your label, then that's fine, of course! Especially if you've had that definite view for years, and have never wavered from it. Even more-so if you are well over 21, as you have a decent amount of child, teen, and adult life experience from which to draw your identity conclusions. It amazes me that there are so many under 21's who say they are certain of "This is what I am. This is what I will be for the rest of my life."
With luck, you'll all live to be at least seventy. Do you really want to commit to a label now when you have 50+ years of life, experiences, meetings, attractions and fates to live through? Is it so important to need to label yourself?
For me, there is only one label I'd like to have, and that I hope the rest of you all get to have at some point in your life, if you don't already: Onesexual. Finding that one, perfect person who outshines all others, and once you have them, all other attractions just fade away into unimportance.
Everyone is free to be what they want to be. If you want to label yourself as gay, straight, pansexual, bisexual, or anything else inbetween, then go ahead. Hell, label yourself just to make it easier on others, if you wish! I'll still answer to the gay/lesbian label, as it's the closest one to fit me, but that's not what I truly am.
I'm Jennsexual, and no other label really fits.
I'm happy with this. I hope everyone who reads this is happy with their own label, no matter what it might be. If you don't know for certain, don't worry! In a world where sex is thrown in our faces every single day, it's okay to shrug your shoulders and say "Eh, I'll decide later." Or don't label yourself at all. Whatever XD
In other news, I miss Jenn. She's sicker than me right now, and I want to be there for her D8
In other OTHER news, Jenn and I will have been together for four years as of January ^_^
Just to clarify, the polls weren't created to prove a point, or gather evidence, or for anything like that! They existed for two only reasons:
- To satisfy my own curiosity about my audience
- To get people thinking about the subject before I wrote this journal on the matter