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December 8, 2011
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Sexuality Polls?

Thu Dec 8, 2011, 5:42 PM
WARNING FOR THE RAMBLINGS OF A TIRED, ILL PERSON!


So, you may wonder why I made the polls about sexuality.

From the age of 12 to 16, I was straight. I was always straight, and always going to be straight. I only dated guys, and that was the way it was stuck in my head.

Then at 16, things started changing. I was in a relationship, but I also found myself attracted to girls. In appearance, especially, I found females more appealing than males.

At around 18 or 19, my attraction to men started fading entirely, replaced purely by an interest in women.

At 20, I ended my straight relationship to be with Jenn. By this point, I only found women attractive.

Now I'm 24, and once again, I'm on the fence. I find both men and women attractive visually, but I'm not SEXUALLY attracted to any of them. The only person I honestly find sexually attractive is Jenn. She's female, so I suppose that labels me as a lesbian, as I am quite literally only attracted to females.

But what if, in another world, Jenn had been male? I love Jenn heavily for her mind and personality, so I'd like to think I'd still be attracted to Guy!Jenn.

What if Jenn were to become trans in this world? Would that make me pansexual? Heterosexual?

I'm 24. I've been certain of being straight, of being bi, and of being gay.

I've finally come to realise that the only thing I'm certain of... is that I'm not certain at all.



I have no idea which label fits me. And to be honest, I'm okay with that. After the polls today, the answers that pleased me most were from people who admitted that they either had no idea, didn't want to label themselves, or didn't have the experience to make the commitment to any one label. These people have figured out in their teens what I know now in my mid-twenties: that love is fluid, and things can dramatically change without you ever seeing it coming.

If you're confident in your label, then that's fine, of course! Especially if you've had that definite view for years, and have never wavered from it. Even more-so if you are well over 21, as you have a decent amount of child, teen, and adult life experience from which to draw your identity conclusions. It amazes me that there are so many under 21's who say they are certain of "This is what I am. This is what I will be for the rest of my life."

With luck, you'll all live to be at least seventy. Do you really want to commit to a label now when you have 50+ years of life, experiences, meetings, attractions and fates to live through? Is it so important to need to label yourself?


For me, there is only one label I'd like to have, and that I hope the rest of you all get to have at some point in your life, if you don't already: Onesexual. Finding that one, perfect person who outshines all others, and once you have them, all other attractions just fade away into unimportance.

Everyone is free to be what they want to be. If you want to label yourself as gay, straight, pansexual, bisexual, or anything else inbetween, then go ahead. Hell, label yourself just to make it easier on others, if you wish! I'll still answer to the gay/lesbian label, as it's the closest one to fit me, but that's not what I truly am.

I'm Jennsexual, and no other label really fits.

I'm happy with this. I hope everyone who reads this is happy with their own label, no matter what it might be. If you don't know for certain, don't worry! In a world where sex is thrown in our faces every single day, it's okay to shrug your shoulders and say "Eh, I'll decide later." Or don't label yourself at all. Whatever XD


DFTBA




In other news, I miss Jenn. She's sicker than me right now, and I want to be there for her D8

In other OTHER news, Jenn and I will have been together for four years as of January ^_^


EDIT!!!!:
Just to clarify, the polls weren't created to prove a point, or gather evidence, or for anything like that! They existed for two only reasons:
- To satisfy my own curiosity about my audience
- To get people thinking about the subject before I wrote this journal on the matter

:)

  • Mood: Winter Downs
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:iconmissshadowwings:
missshadowwings Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
"But what if, in another world, Jenn had been male? I love Jenn heavily for her mind and personality, so I'd like to think I'd still be attracted to Guy!Jenn."

I think we now know the answer to that~
Reply
:iconcinderpelt618:
Cinderpelt618 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
I don't know you and I'm proud. You actually spoke of the one subject of someone's... Let's call it sex label... And it's inspirational. You made me cry.... Bagel.
Reply
:icontrollinginthederp:
TrollingintheDerp Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student General Artist
To be honest... I feel the same way. I thought I was always straight. I only crushed on and went after guys. Then, I started feeling sexually attracted to girls. I felt confused. Am I straight or am I bi? Now, I just say I'm bisexual. I don't want to make a big deal about it, though. Especially after reading your journal.
Reply
:iconphoebefay:
PhoebeFay Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Student General Artist
If I had to label myself for other people to understand I'm bisexual, if they ask more I say i'm a demisexual bi-romantic. I'm in a position that the only people I love are people I feel like I've grown to loves o no 'love at first sight' for me. In fact, i tend to dislike people when I first see them people they look coldly indifferent when I approach them. Apart from loving someone of the same gender, I think there's hardly a point in ruling out an entire gender just becuase you say you don't like them. People can be one, the other, both or neither one way or another.
Reply
:iconrainbow-songs:
Rainbow-Songs Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
Reading this, really made me cry, but not in a bad way...
that actually made me really happy...really happy about myself...being myself.
so thank you Kelly, really <3
Reply
:iconmentalcosplayer:
MentalCosplayer Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
O.O, My eyes are welling up with tears....
That was outstanding Kelly I'm crying buckets here
:clap: :salute: I salute to you!!!! :hug:
Reply
:icongroup-photos:
Group-Photos Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I realize that by now, commenting on this is a bit outdated, but I typed up this well-thought-out-reply like two weeks ago, and then - right then - my router malfunctioned and we had to send for a new one. XO So dammit, I'mma post it anyway, hope you don't mind. lol


Honestly, when I was younger, I was straight-by-default. I never really thought about the matter, I barely dated in high school and didn't at all before that. I had a few girls in high school ask me out, and I told them I was straight, but truthfully I just wasn't interested in them as people, not as women.

Then I fell in love with a woman. And in the past almost-four years (we've been dating almost as long as you guys, four years in April! XD) she and I have done a lot of growing up and maturing, both separately and as a couple. I don't feel like I "turned" bisexual, or that I suddenly became attracted to females. It's just that, over time, I realized that I was attracted to females and males in different ways, but both equally.

My girlfriend and I both look at other people. Neither of us gets jealous, in fact we usually discuss what we think is hot in someone else. XD But when it comes down to it, we still only really want each other.

Also, I love that you call yourself "Jennsexual", since just the other day my friend made a joke about me being "Lottiesexual" (my girlfriend's name being Lottie, obviously) - I love that someone else has thought of that too, cause it's hilarious, but so true.

Anyway, in response to your line about people being steady in their choices, I do agree there are too many people trying to stick themselves to a label for the long haul when they have so much ahead of them. However, maybe this makes me a hypocrite, but I don't feel like I will ever stop being bisexual. The reason for this, though, is backed by the fact that in almost every topic that comes up, I am very open-minded, and I rarely take extremes. I'm usually sitting squarely in the middle of any debate. So I think I'll be sitting squarely in the middle of the gay/straight category for a long time. ^_^
Reply
:icongir2898:
GIR2898 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
Congradulations on four years!! I wish you a long and very happy relationship!!
Reply
:iconakurokuxsokai:
akurokuxsokai Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
If you're Jennsexual, then I am Shawnsexual X3 my fiance is the only one I find attractive :heart:
Reply
:iconlegendsofzeldafreako:
legendsofzeldafreako Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so sweet. I absolutely agree with you.

I label myself as bisexual for the simple fact that it's easiest to explain to people. But I'm just me. I don't think I can really label myself. I mean, I know exactly who I am but who I am, sexuality-wise, is always changing. I'm 18 now and until I was 15 I was completely, 100% sure I was straight, much like you.

'Nyways, I really look up to you and Jenn's relationship; I'm always hoping that I can find someone that I can share such a special bond with as you two do.
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