One of the recurring comments given in my previous journal was "Why do we need to label ourselves at all?", or words to that effect. There are many of you who believe NO-ONE needs a label.
I both agree and disagree.
I agree, because I think you're right that we don't need to define to ourselves what we are by putting a label on it. I shouldn't say to myself "I'm gay. Therefore, I only am attracted to women." I think that if, in your head, you have a defined, labelled view of what you are, you start conforming yourself around that label. I'm sure many of you have heard stories of men and women who came out, then later admitted to feeling pressured into staying gay because they'd defined themselves as such to so many people. Conforming yourself around a social definition like that cannot be healthy.
But at the same time, I disagree against the idea that we don't need labels in this world at all. We do need them... we just don't need to place extensive meaning in them. They should be used as a face-value, descriptive term only.
Without labels, I could tell you the following about me:
"Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm a person of a certain age from the United Kingdom. I'm in a relationship with another person from the United Kingdom. I have hobbies."
With labels, however, you get a much better, base view of who I am:
"Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm an over-21 white British female. I'm in a same-sex relationship with another white British female. I'm also a cosplayer."
What I wrote in the second example is not there to set a definition for me, or rope me to any particular social standing or group. It exists purely to help others get a better initial view of who and what I am. We give ourselves labels not to put ourselves into the same area as people with matching labels, but to help others with their initial comprehensions of who we are. A wise person would look at those labels, take them in, but also understand that there is more to who you are than the words you place upon yourself.
I use the term "lesbian" not as a rule, but as a base, descriptive term. It helps people get an initial understanding of a facet of my being: I'm not interested in men. Adding the 'in a relationship' term then furthers that to explain another facet of who I am: I'm with someone, and I'm not interested in anyone else.
It's a very base description, and it's flawed, but it gives the bare-bones outline of my love-life and sexuality, for those I wish to know that information. I could, of course, go into more accurate detail of "I'm in a same-sex relationship, but I don't view myself strictly as a lesbian, as I only have attraction to a single person, and honestly believe that if I'd met that same person in a male body, I'd still be attracted to them."
... If someone introduced themselves to me that way, even after having known them for a short while, I'd be rather... flummoxed! Sometimes, it's easier to simplify. If you then want to clarify further, or if someone wants to get to know you better than just on basic labels, then that option is there, and that tends to be the route where friendships are forged as people get to know the true person behind the public labels.
So no, we do not need labels to define who or what we are.
But we do have a use for labels, in helping to create that initial view of what we may be.
Without labels, you'd all be glass-skinned, genderless, cultureless, emotionless blobs to me! I'm happy to know that those who follow me are male, female, trans, gay, straight, bi, pan, old, young, black, white, religious, atheist... even if those labels aren't entirely accurate to who you really are.
</end more ramblings of an ill person>
=======THINGS I LEARNED FROM YOU GUYS=======
If any quotes, thoughts, or words in the responses to this or my previous journal grab my interest, I'll add them here
- 'Love is my sexuality'
- "I've tossed around my sexuality for many years and could only come up with one true answer; Homoflexible."
- "I identify as a straight male, but then I fell for one of my guy friends. ... So if people can't handle that I'm a straight guy in a gay relationship then fuck them"
- " 'Onesexual' is an interesting concept. When I was with my last ex, whom was with me five years, I was genuinely onesexual for her. I found no other women attractive. It's been six months since I was dumped and I'm still having a very hard time finding anyone attractive. So in that vein, becoming onesexual can be a bit of a curse, meh... but at the same time, I've heard that being able to feel that way about someone is a rare gift, so even if I lost her, I'm happy to know I have the capability."
- "Love doesn't need a label. All that really matters is that you're happy."
- "In the eyes of others, I'm a lesbian, or maybe a bisexual, but in my eyes, I'm Alexandrasexual~"
ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
So, you've all probably noticed that I don't really post here any more! Variety of reasons for that which aren't really important, tbh!
Long story short, I'll be leaving this account active because I like coming back and browsing it every now and then, but if you wanted to keep in touch with me or keep an eye on what I'm doing (I still cosplay!), then you can follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kellyjanecosplay
I'm also on twitter still under the username of oKellyJaneo. I also have a youtube account where I mostly post video game Let's Plays, which you can find at https://www.youtube.com/c/kellyjanegaming
Much love to you all!
Thank You x
I know I'm not crazy-active on here right now, aside from checking my messages and uploading pics every now and then...
But I wanted to say thank you for all the birthday messages :)
And also share with you this amazing picture that one of my very dear friends made for me, of my larp character. Go look at all her stuff. It's incredible.
Feb Update
Hello all! I've been really terrible in keeping my dA updated, so my apologies for that! I'm more active on Tumblr, and there are regular updates being posted to the Parlé Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OfficialParleProductions
But yes! 2014! Let's see what we're up to....
Date: 1-2nd March
Event: Larp Awareness Party, Leicester UK
Website: https://www.facebook.com/events/169097359942680/
Description:
I will be at this event to help promote a LARP system starting this year called The Vale, at which Jenn and I will be playing NPC characters. This system is for players aged 18 and over. If you are interested, come and see me at th
Wow, it's been a while
Like, it's been a serious while! A lot has happened, such as...
- Metrocon! Which was amazing. Another fantastic year where we met some fantastic people! Will we be back next year? Honestly, we cannot say. We're not sure we can continue to afford the flight costs, so it's up in the air right now.
- Abunaicon! Dutch people are crazy. Nuff said. <3
- Alcon! Another amazing weekend! We were kinda zoned out for some of it, due to the fact we were so close to getting our house... but still an amazingly fun event.
- HOUSE! Which we have. And despite the boiler problems, everything is now finally going smoothly thanks to you guys!
- JCon! Ou
© 2011 - 2024 KellyJane
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I have thought about it and have finally thought of a label to suit me... Nonsexual. I'm not going to give my self a proper label until I know for sure, I just think that why label yourself one way when it could easily change in the future or maybe not! I told my friends and now they suddenly think I'm bisexual and what have you but I'm not - not necessarily. I'm in a opposite sex relationship of nearly 2 years and have only dated boys but like I've said that's not to say it won't all change as I get older. So as I have said I'm not gonna label myself as Gay, Straight or Bisexual because I don't know if I'll be that way forever so I am sticking with this one- Nonsexual.